I haven’t been to the dentist in
3, 4, OK it has been 5 years. I have a really good excuse. I probably have the best excuse ever. I was scared.
You see, 5 years ago my mom had a stroke after being in the dentist’s chair for 2 1/2 hours. Her head bending back all that time cut off the circulation to her head (I know, ick). I am not going to go into the details because I still get sad about it. It was an Ordeal with a capital “O.” She was healthy as a horse – her doctors said it was a fluke.
I don’t like flukes.
Then she works up the courage to go again, a year later, and she has a seizure.
So, I have had a good excuse these past 5 years, don’t ya think? I am her spawn after all.
Well, for the past 3 years I have been working up the courage to make the appointment. It has been rather pathetic when my darling 9-year-old asks me why we aren’t going to the dentist. I would never tell her the real reason. However, Mommy can’t keep forgetting to make that appointment. Emily is getting older and really questionning me. Oh the guilt I have felt.
So I finally bit the bullet, called and made the appointment last week. I actually shook uncontrollably when I did it. But do you know what? That was the hardest part. For the past week I have been so relieved and actually excited to go.
Today was the day and I lived to tell about it. There was a part of me that thought while driving in the car that, perhaps, I would drive to Starbucks instead and get myself a mocha. Thankfully, I didn’t.
I had a bajillion x-rays and 1 cavity. My teeth need to be thoroughly cleaned and they said I need a wisdom tooth out someday. I have never had a wisdom tooth out and the horror on my face must have said it all, which is why they added “someday.”
Driving home I felt so silly for waiting all this time. For letting fear stop me. For letting the guilt of not going hang on my shoulders for 5 years. But, I am not going to keep beating myself up. Maybe I needed those 5 years.