Bad Words – Good Timing

Oh double crap.  I may have the tendency to swear.  Yes, I know other words to say, but unfortunately, they just don’t flow out of my mouth as freely as the more fun, colorful words do. 

I never swore growing up.  Ever.  I didn’t start until I began hanging out with my grandpa in my twenties.  You see, I would go and take him to lunch or dinner 2-3 times a week and then we would go and visit my grandma in the nursing home.  I really liked hanging out with him.  His stories were the best.  Every other word that came out of his mouth was a swear word and I think it might of… you know… rubbed off.  I like it that it rubbed off and I am going to keep it there damnit.  I miss those lunches and dinners.

So when I had Emily, I curbed it the best I could.  I did a pretty good job, I think. Emily said “shit” when she was 3 and I got so mad at her she has never said anything again.  Even if she is retelling a story that she heard at school she will spell the word which is kind of cute.  I raised her right.  Emily says that she would have a horse by now if I had given her a quarter every time I said a “bad word.”


And then there is Sarah.  Sarah who repeats every single fucking word that I say.  Even if it is a bad word and even if I tell her to not say it.  I am trying to stop around her, and I have done a really good job, but I am pretty sure she learned all she needed to know in the womb.

So we’re getting out of the car the other day and I grab her, her blanket, her cup, her hat, her doll and then I drop her cup.

“OH SHIT!” she says.

You kind of have to laugh because she totally said it in the right context.

Me:       You can’t say that word.
Sarah:    Sometimes
Me:       No, not ever.
Sarah:   Yeah, sometimes. 
Me:       NO – NOT EVER!!!!!!!!

So we get into the house and she goes and sits at the kitchen table.  I give her a snack and Jack steals it from her.  In the softest whisper I hear, “Oh shit”

At least if she’s going to say it, she has good timing.


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