Never Leave the House Without a Bra

If you have been reading my blog you know about the post I wrote about the Weekly Love Jar. This week’s strip said that Tyler loves how I am afraid of bees. Huh. Really?! Because I am pretty sure he rolls his eyes and heaves a deep sigh every, single time I flail my arms around and run inside during the summer when I spot a bee or rather, anything that flies and might be a bee. It is kinda sad because I never used to be like that until 4 years ago…

My dad had a kidney transplant at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, four years ago. Emily and I went down and spent a week with my folks during the surgery and initial recovery. Once he was doing well, Emily and I came home to take care of the houses, yards, and pets until my parents could come home 3 weeks later.

The day I got back I immediately went outside and mowed both our yards. (In case you don’t know, my parents are also my neighbors) That was back in the day when I actually liked to mow the grass and putter around outside. It was so hot and afterwards I ran inside to take a shower. Once clean and free from all sweat, I went back out to water flowers and put out the sprinklers.

I was pulling the hose around to the front yard when I tripped over an old bush stump that the previous owners had cut down. Suddenly my leg felt kinda scratchy, and burning. Even back then I was sorta dense and my mind was not on the task at hand, my mind was at the Mayo. I took the hose which had also caught on the stump and pulled it as hard as I could and then I heard it…the buzzing.

There were bees EVERYWHERE. On my legs, on my arms, around my face… EVERYWHERE. Well, what is a girl to do?


I do not know what I should have done, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I ran and ran and ran. In our yard, in the street, into my parents yard (where I lost a shoe.) I ran and flailed my arms around and did I mention the screaming?

Finally I tripped (totally like out of a horror movie) and fell to the ground and covered my face and head, which is when I felt them UNDER MY SHIRT!!!!! Oh yes, yuck indeed. Well that shirt came off. I mean, I didn’t even stop to think about that one. Unfortunately, there were 3 little neighbor boys sitting on their bikes watching the whole thing. And it was the one FREAKIN time I left the house without a bra on. Luckily, there is not much to see, I am a 32A and sadly, am barely able to fill it up, but nonetheless, I covered up and ran screaming into the garage which I yelled for Emily to open.

I slunk into the garage and when I stopped screaming I didn’t hear the buzzing anymore. I did hear the boys who had now moved to end of our driveway. One of them said, “Loco” I do not know much Spanish, but I do know what loco means. (Just super.)

Emily ran and grabbed my shirt and dropped it by me in the garage and there were a lot of dead bees inside. I actually did not touch that shirt for a week. I let it lay there just to make sure they were dead.

Once the hysteria died down and I was inside, Emily turned into Florence Nightingale. She was 5 at the time and dipped rags into cold and soapy water and laid them all over my body while I was on the phone with the doctor. The cold water felt amazing and the extra added soap was her own “special” remedy.

I learned a few things from that day:

  1. Bees can live in the ground so watch where you walk!
  2. If you pave your entire yard you won’t have to worry about it.
  3. I need to learn Spanish.
  4. I am not allergic to bees – oh yay! I am, however, deathly afraid of being swarmed.
  5. Running is not my forte.

I have gotten better about bees and being outside. Now I do all of my major yard work in the Spring, before they are crazy and I am vigilant about paying attention to my surroundings. The rest of that summer, well, I didn’t have to water flowers anymore, I just let them all die. Sorry mom.

What about Emily, you ask? Amazingly, she is not afraid of bees. It is shocking. You would think she would be the opposite. I do not know how that happened. I do know that when she started Kindergarten 2 weeks later this is how she introduced herself,

“Hi I’m Emily and my mom got stung by bees and took off her shirt and ran around naked in our yard.”

She told that story for 2 YEARS.

And I have never gone outside without a bra since.


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