(Deputy) Director of Illumination


So Sunday was the day to do our Christmas lights. Remember how jacked up Tyler was to make our lights “bigger and better” this year? Well Tyler set off at 8AM to Mills Fleet Farm and Menards to acquire his supplies.


Part of the original plan was that we were putting up these beautiful clear icicle lights on our trim that he had bought last year after Christmas. Then we were putting up a tree in our garden and decorating it with a bunch of colored lights. Now read carefully what Tyler said about what he had purchased:


“So I bought a tree and 900 colored lights to go on it and then I bought a strand of white lights for the house and a strand of LED for the house to fill in.”


Huh? Wait. Back-up?


“What do you mean ‘fill in’?”


He didn’t have enough of the icicle lights to go on our house so he thought he would put a strand here and there and then fill in with other different lights. Like a pot luck.


My face contorted into all sorts of different shapes because I am not going to have a pot luck house with mismatched lights.


That’s when I became:


(Deputy) Director of Illumination


Like my new title? The “deputy” is in quotes because there has been some discussion as to who exactly the Director is and who is the Deputy.


C’mon… we all know who the Director is.


He asked me if I trust him to make a good decision. Hmpf. This is a toughie. Yes I trust him. Implicitly. However this is the man who at least twice a year tries to go to work matching a green sweater with green pants. So I threw on my work clothes and got to work.


This is what we worked on for 3 hours:

In the end, we were a little disappointed with our work. Oh we like it, but we didn’t quite achieve the “Bigger and Better” we had hoped for. Plus, our tree is crooked and we can’t, for the life of us, get it to be straight! 

We got out the tape measure and made a list of things to add. I have been told, in no uncertain terms, that I have to accompany him to purchase new lights. I guess that is part of the (Deputy) Director of Illumination’s job description.

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