Stop the Thrashing Already!!

I woke up this morning and found that a letter had been written by our puppy Jack to my husband, Tyler. Apparently he has some issues as you can see. I have ascertained that I am “The Mrs.” and Tyler is “Sir.”



Dear Sir,


I feel that I just cannot go on any longer without saying something to you. The Mrs. Woke up this morning and asked you how you had slept. You said that I had woken you up at 1:00 and 3:30 and that I had to go outside again. Then you rubbed your neck to further illustrate your fatigue and pain.


This same conversation has gone on for the past 2 months and I just cannot stand it any longer. You see Sir, it is in fact, YOU who is waking ME up at night.


Do you remember the 2 nights you were gone 3 weeks ago? The Mrs. And I slept quite lovely those 2 nights. We woke up to the alarm clock both mornings.


How about last week when you were gone for 3 nights? Again, the Mrs. and I slept all night long… well, except when the baby woke up, but even then I did not have to go outside as you so often accuse me of. The Mrs. told me to go back to sleep and I did.


I also overheard The Mrs. talking to you on the phone and what happened at the hotel? What exactly? Oh… you woke up at 4 AM? Imagine that. Was there a dog with you for you to blame?


You see Sir, whereas the Mrs. Sleeps like the dead and doesn’t notice you thrashing about all night, I do. I am so sorry if I wake up and have to check on you. I am just doing my job as your faithful and loyal puppy. You toss. You turn. The pillow is under your left leg. Then you drag it under your right leg. Enough!


You are really interrupting my sleep. A puppy needs his sleep, man. Help a dog out and QUIT IT ALREADY!


I will admit that I dug a hole in the backyard. I opened the garbage and dragged out all of the food I could reach. I eat Kleenex. I ruined your new decking (see below) I will even admit that I am a spaz, but


I do not wake you up at night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am simply making sure you are alright.


Respectfully,


Jack the Puppy

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