I am sure he was a very nice person. He just creeped me out.
I posted a picture of myself on Friday. It is gone now. I don’t usually post pictures and this is why:
As you know by now, Tyler and I met on Match.com. He sent me an email the day after I created a profile. Since I am no good at multi-dating, I kept the profile up while he and I emailed, etc., just in case he turned out to be a dud.
It was 3 weeks later and my mom and I are at Office Max. We had separated and I was wandering around heading to the pen section.
As I am walking, very pointedly, toward my destination this is what I hear,
“OH MY GOD IT IS THE GIRL NEXT DOOR – I can’t believe it is YOU!”
(That was not my match.com name, but you get the point)
I freeze in place. Standing in front of me is this guy. He was 6’3, if not taller, and he was practically jumping up and down he was so excited.
I am SO not exaggerating.
Fight or Flight?
How about neither? What do I do? I just stand there like an idiot, frozen.
Now here is something you need to know about me.
I am really very shy. If I see someone I know in the mall or the store, I will veer the other way so I don’t have to make conversation.
If the neighbor across the street is working in his front yard, I will actually go into the backyard and find something to do to avoid conversation.
I am really good with a head nod “Hello” and a quick wave, but please do not come over to talk.
Call me a loner. Call me shy. Just don’t ever talk to me in person. Ok?
Yet, I love to talk. I just like to talk at “expected” situations. The grocery lady and I are tight. The cleaner guy and me – BFFs.
I worked at a golf course my entire working career. We did 40,000 rounds of golf per season. I worked 6 days a week. You do the math. I talked to a lot of people. It was my job and I loved it.
Now back to our story…
“Ummm Hi. Who are you and how do I know you?” I manage to squeak out.
“Oh, you don’t know me. I know you. I emailed you, but you didn’t reply. It’s ok that you didn’t reply and all. I just am so excited to meet you in person.” Amazon Man says.
“Oh. Well. I started dating someone… a cop.” I say.
The subtext should read “A cop who is going to hunt you down and kill you if you lay a hand on me.”
Now Tyler is NOT a cop. It just so happened to be the one time I thought on my feet and a cop sounded like a good thing to say. The guy was really tall and really excited to see me. He goes on:
“Well, if it doesn’t work out with the guy email me. You know -You look exactly like your picture.”
Umm… how many times did you look at my profile exactly? Let’s just not go there. Who can remember a random face?
I said Thank You and a quick good-bye and ran to find my Mommy. Two aisles over this is what I heard, “Hey Larry! You are not going to believe who I just met! It was The Girl Next Door”
Just great. Now there are 2 of them.