Humiliation and Pain

**Don’t forget about Feel Good Friday… on Friday!  Choose a prompt, write a post and link up!  By the way… we taped our vlog last night and my face hurts from smiling so much.  Thanks mom!

The One When You Cut My Ear

I am a very cautious person and always have been. My mom is the opposite. If I want to get my hair cut I need to think about it for a while whereas my mom just gets it cut.

One night I remarked how I wanted to get my hair cut shorter and my mom whipped out a pair of scissors and said, “I’ll do it!! Let’s do it NOW!”

I wanted it much shorter and she was cutting and cutting and suddenly she CUTS MY EARLOBE!

Do you KNOW how much blood gushes out of one’s ear?

So I am standing in the bathroom and there is blood EVERYWHERE and mom fell to the FLOOR laughing.

Then she LEFT the ROOM and fell on the sofa LAUGHING!

Me, her daughter, her only child is standing with blood all over the place screaming in pain and where is my darling mother?

She couldn’t even look at me she was still laughing so hard.

And that was the last time I let her cut my hair.

The Tie

A mother is supposed to protect her child. Look out for her. Guide her. Help her.

Not suggest she wear a men’s TIE on a first date!

Who does that???

Humiliation to the nth Degree

Yes, I did stop holding my mom’s hand as I grew up. I was not embarrassed to be seen out in public with her. I loved her.

I was embarrassed, however, when we would be in a mall and I would notice that she was walking with her arm around me, but hovering above my shoulders so I wouldn’t notice.

She still does it and I still do not find it amusing in the least.


My dad worked nights and as a child I was very aware of the potential of burglars, but I had Bluey, my blue bear to protect me, so all was good.

One night I rolled over and woke to find someone kneeling by the side of my bed.

I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs.

Then I got yelled at by my mom who was looking to see if the cat was under the bed.

OK Mom, YOU were the one who was right in that one… sure.

Desperate and Dateless

I lived at home when I was out of college and working. I saved my money, always had a new car and clothes and lots of Coach handbags.

When I wasn’t dating on the weekends, my mom and I would play cards and listen to the radio.

No self respecting mother in the world should suggest that her 22 year old daughter call into a radio show titled Desperate and Dateless.

…And then record it to laugh about over and over.


45 responses to “Humiliation and Pain

  1. Dysfunctional Mom

    Your mom reminds me of some other mom I know…oh wait, it's ME!

  2. Your mom cracks me up! You sure do have tons of awesome stories about her though! And that is a wonderful thing… memories.

  3. The Chicken's Consigliere

    Just think of all the fun you are going to have with your hard earned parenting skills as your daughter moves into her teen years. I wish I could hear that tape.

  4. Hahahaha….LOL! That is too funny. Thanks for the smiles :)

  5. I'm surprised child protective services never whisked you away. The horrors. Your mom is awesome. This from a mom who nicked her boy in the forehead during a trim, then took a picture of it for the blogiverse. 😉

  6. You made me flashback to the days when I would French braid my two daughters hair. It would come out all crooked and horrible, but I would just smile and say , "It looks great" and then I'd rush into the other room and pee my pants laughing so hard! I love your mom!We could be partners in crime!Great Memories! Thanks for the laughter!

  7. You are hilarious! Sorry about the ear… I probably shouldn't have laughed at that, should I?

  8. Your Mom is freakin hilarious, I think we have a similar sense of humor 😉

  9. Katie's Dailies

    I. Just. Love. Your. Mom. Period!And the scream story? Happens to my daughter and me about once a week, except she'll have her ear phones and not hear me come in to check on her: she looks up, yelps when she sees me, then I go through the roof at her yelping. Makes me exhausted raising these kids!Happy Hump Day!

  10. The Girl Next Door Grows Up

    I changed the post title when I realized it may be offensive. I didn't even think!I am SO Sorry!

  11. Hahhaha! Great story!

  12. She left the room she was laughing so hard. Hilarious.

  13. Your mom has a wicked sense of humor! VERY funny post…thanks for bringing some laughs into my morning. 🙂

  14. Love all these stories about you and your Mom. Thanks for sharing them with us.

  15. Blast from the Past

    I was the older of 2 sons (who followed 2 sisters). Between me and my brother, we got the constant grooming from a tissue WET DOWN WITH HER SPIT to tidy up our faces – especially at church. Bleahh!And while all of us kids endured pet names, my brother – who was small for his size – was called "little one". Imagine how that made him feel when mom would call him such in front of his classmates at events.

  16. Your mom sounds like such a character! My mother used to cut my hair too, but luckily she didn't practically chop my ear off. She did, however, burn my neck with a curling iron once!

  17. Now those were very good memories of times past to share. Makes me think of all the things that took place over my younger years and like you cringe and at the same time love to revisit the times spent with my Mom and Dad…Thanks for the chuckles and see you on Friday to see what you have for us!jackie b central texas

  18. Much More Than Mommy

    I don't know if I can handle more of these, my stomach hurts from laughing!!! (Oh, uhm… I'm sure I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you!)

  19. I truly love your mom – I think the bleeding earlobe story is my favorite!

  20. Your mom just KILLS me!!!!

  21. I so remember that radio show, Desperate and Dateless! I LOVED that show. Maybe I heard you, being all desperate. I think the putting the hovering arm around you is hysterical! It sounds like something I'd do to my girls. I love to embarrass them. Just this past Christmas we were at the mall, all the girls and I, and I ran up to Santa Land and started waving and yelling, "Hi Santa! Hi Santa!" Then, I turned around and yelled at the girls to come say hello to Santa. They were mortified. It was awesome. I used to have even shorter hair than I do now, radically short hair. I went to a new hairdresser who was so excited over my crazy short hair. She got out her razor and went to town cutting my entire head with it, which was fine, because it looked really cool when she was done. But, as she was cutting it, she was wild with that razor, flinging it around. And I was so afraid for my ears and sure enough, she dug that razor right into the top of my ear. It shaved off an entire layer of skin. It hurt so much, that's a sensitive area, and bled profusely. To this day, I'm always afraid when the scissors come near my ears.

  22. Your mom is so funny:) You have some great stories!

  23. haha, crap my mom once burned me with a curling iron that was the last time…your stories seriously should be put into a montage of short films…crap that would be hilarious!!! or do like re-enactments!!!

  24. I think Miss Tina has some 'splaining to do!


    I've had guilt for years over a sil who asked me to trim her short hair. She said every time the hairdresser did it she would snip her ear. So I trimmed her hair and of course I cut her ear. I still feel badly. She never asked me to trim her hair again.So, I'm letting go of this guilt here and now. Thank you. You and your mother do have fun.: )

  26. Well at least we now know that your mom had you for her amusement.

  27. Had to cringe when you mentioned bleeding earlobes. I had mine cut by a barber, when my dad took me for my first "big boy" haircut. Mom threw a fit! Had portraits done in a fancy dress, with my boy haircut. Also, I've always cut my kids and hubby's hair and while I usually cut my fingers, I may have missed once, on my middle son. (right where the lobe attaches to the jaw line) Crap!

  28. The Drama Mama

    Your comments have me giggling as hard as your post did. You poor thing.


    Your mom is the best! How do I get he to adopt me…. She won't be able to cut my hair…. But she can adopt me…. lol

  30. Haha your mother sounds hilarious. Maybe not so much at the time, but definitely funny stories to look back on.

  31. Your mom sounds like a good time! I can't picture how the hovering arm works, but would love to see it! She must be great if her 22 year old wanted to hang out with her!

  32. All of these memories have me on the edge of my seat waiting for the damn vlog! Bring. It. On!Your Mom is hysterical, but was she a hippie…did she possibly smoke some bad weed or something? Is that offensive? It's not meant to be:)

  33. Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip

    I think I love your mom. She sounds pretty awesome. But I won't be asking her to cut my hair anytime soon.

  34. Your mom totally rocks! Those are awesome memories.

  35. I'm sorry but I was laughing out loud on these!

  36. Just want to give you a heads up… I am giving you the Sweet Blog Award! :0P You can see it here. I wanted to give you a big thank you for being my blog friend.

  37. Wow…is it bad that I can totally identify with your mom in this post? Eerily enough, if my daughter ever gets interested in blogging, I could easily see her writing very similar posts about me. For the record, for Landon's first haircut, Tim insisted on doing it himself. He cut the boy's ear and it gushed blood for what seemed like an eternity. I think I might have laughed…after we got the bleeding under control of course.

  38. Dude, a man's tie? A girl on a first date? Ha ha! Sorry that's too funny!

  39. You DO realize, don't you, how much you are making us all love your mom? So, beware next time you two have a fight, we might be siding with her 😉

  40. lol, your Mom makes me roll my eyes…not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing….what a crazy fun lady

  41. Leslie Greenwood

    LOL, those stories are great! My sides hurt from laughing. 😉

  42. HAHAHAHAHAHA Oh My Gosh! my Mom would TOTALLY suggest I call in to Desperate and Dateless. She makes cracks about that stuff all the time. I'm 22, cut me some slack woman!!!!

  43. Wendy @RunningonMTT

    LOL — loved these latest entries of stories! You guys crack me up!

  44. Mommy on the Spot

    These are hysterical!

  45. Wow…is it bad that I can totally identify with your mom in this post? Eerily enough, if my daughter ever gets interested in blogging, I could easily see her writing very similar posts about me. For the record, for Landon’s first haircut, Tim insisted on doing it himself. He cut the boy’s ear and it gushed blood for what seemed like an eternity. I think I might have laughed…after we got the bleeding under control of course.

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