Old People Fall, He Says


**Today doesn’t feel like a Thursday.  It feels like a Wednesday, but no matter what day it is, tomorrow is Feel Good Friday!  Pick a prompt, write a post and link up.  See you tomorrow!

 

Tyler’s parents and Aunt were in town last week from Vegas and Chicago respectively.  We were on our way to see them and were leaving our house when we saw my mom mowing her yard.


We waved Hello.


She flagged us down and told us that dad had fallen and hit his head.


“Well is he alright?” I asked.


She shakes her head “yes,” then shakes her head “no” and then she laughs and shrugs and says she’s got to get back to her mowing.


I am fairly certain he was okay, or she wouldn’t have been so nonchalant.


Or maybe they had an argument, and he got what he deserved.


Either way, we continued on our merry way.


We returned at 8PM, walk in the door and the phone rings…


Mom:  You got any old shirts for Jim to put on his arm? 

Me:  Why?

Mom:  He scraped the skin off his arm and we need to wrap it.

Me:  How bad is he?

Mom:  He says he will reenact the “fall” if you come over.


So I think to myself that he either hit his head really hard and is loopy, or he is just being funny.


I grab the first shirt I see and run over. 


Yes, I really did run.  I was intrigued.


I meet them outside and see dad’s wounds.  His forearm is completely bandaged and he has a bloody scrape on his neck.


He tells me that he has a can of paint in one hand and a paintbrush in the other and he is walking around the yard by the garage when he trips on the gutter downspout.


Not wanting to drop the paint or brush (heaven forbid), he stumbles a few steps and then trips again and falls into the whiskey barrel planter and first hits his head, then hits his jaw.


He wants me to point out that it did not happen in slow motion, but in fast forward.


But did he save the paint from spilling?  Because that was his top priority, you see.


Absolutely not.

 

He got paint all over his clothes.


Now, he was so worried about getting the paint on his new, very expensive hiking shoes, he gingerly undressed in the garage and walked into the house… naked.


So he goes in the house… naked… and yells to my mom that he has had an accident.


She comes into the basement, takes one look at my naked dad and is horrified!


He was so concerned about bringing paint into the house; he didn’t notice that his arm was gushing blood!


While telling me his story he did call me and mom by the wrong names, but I am sure that is just “him” and has nothing to do with him hitting his head.

 

At least that is what I told him.


So he is standing telling me the rest of it and he ends with this:


“Well, old people fall, you know.”

 

No dad.  People fall. 


Tyler tripped and fell 2 weeks ago.  I tripped a day ago.  Sarah falls every day.


It is just that when you trip and fall, it is so much funnier than the rest of us.


And, by the way, my name is Laura… just in case you forgot.


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45 responses to “Old People Fall, He Says

  1. Was he still naked when you saw him? Thanks for sharing another one of your hilarious stories! (It’s a great way to start the day!)

  2. Oh my goodness. I hope he didn’t need stitches. It sounded like a lot of blood. Your dad is so funny even when he is trying not to be! How funny that he wanted to “reenact” the fall for you.

    • He was so funny. He said he would reenact it for my readers on a vlog! But I said no when he said that he would have to put something over his head to disguise himself!

  3. Well, I’m glad he’s alright!

  4. oh my gosh! I laughed out loud, but I hope that your dad is ok!

  5. Lol! Very funny, at least the paint was okay. Ha. Your parents are too cute.

  6. Your parents are a hoot! I hope he’s back to calling people by their real names. By the way, do you call your parents by their first names. I noticed you referred to your dad by his first name when you were repeating your mom’s request for an old shirt. Cause, I could just see your parents insisting you call them by their first name.

    And I can’t even imagine what your mom must have thought when your dad was yelling that he’d had an accident and she stumbles upon a naked, bleeding man.

    Never a dull moment around your place.

  7. My dad has always got our names wrong right from the get go. And he still can’t tell my sister and I apart on the phone: “Which one of you girls IS this??”

    We have fun with that one, which could explain why he went grey so early…

    Glad you dad is okay!

  8. I get my kids names wrong all the time and I fall often…I will be 35 later this year so I am pretty sure it is just what we do. Hehehe

    I am glad your dad is okay!

  9. oh so funny. i posted my feel good friday post today because..yeah…it’s in the post.

    http://mylifeandmyloves.blogspot.com/2010/06/feel-good-friday.html

  10. Isn’t it always funnier when it’s someone else that falls? Especially when they feel the need to strip naked and walk in the house leaving a blood trail from a messed up arm…Haha. I love your family. Will they adopt me? Please?

    (btw, I’m glad he is okay.)

  11. Glad that he is okay. Men . . . what can you do with them. That is funny about not wanting to get paint anywhere and stripping in the garage. I would take it that the garage is connected to the house?? Or did he have to run “nekkid” outside to get in the house. Which would have been funny as well because you know that someone you know would have gone by at that exact moment.

  12. This sounds so familiar… I remember when my husband went to great lengths during a protracted fall not to spill what was in his hand… but in his case it was a beer!

    Great post!

  13. Oh my gosh!! How funny! Hope your dad is doing better!

  14. Poor dad! At leasts he didn’t “snap like a twig”!! Right? I can’t believe it’s Thursday either. Last day of school. First day of bickerfest. We’ll see!

  15. Please tell me he didn’t call you by the names of a deceased relative!

  16. OMG! I am so glad he is okay after the fall but that is a great story! I could actually picturing it happening in my mind but in the part of your father I see my “clumsy” daughter, but shes 7 so if she forgets my name I rush her to the doctor.

  17. Who raps there arm in an old shirt? Sounds like he needed bandages. I do not want to get old. I already for get to walk down the last stair step and constantly almost twist my ankle.

    • The shirt was to cover all of the gauze! He cut the sleeves off of my shirts and then put it on, securing the gauze. He knew my arms were smaller than his, therefore, it wouldn’t come off.

  18. Heh. Of course the paint is most important.

    You’ve successfully been imported in reader FYI.

  19. I just about peed my pants. That was HIGH-larious!

  20. Oh my word!
    is it wrong for me to laugh? =)
    I hope he is really ok!! =)

  21. i’m pretty sure your day to day life would be extremely different if they didn’t live so closeby. 🙂

  22. Wow, never a dull moment!! You should get your dad on a vlog someday. No need to reenact the fall on video, though – it could lead to another real fall!

  23. The way he described that fall was really comical!

  24. The picture of your Dad naked and bleeding is priceless!

    Btw, I meant to ask you awhile ago…do you call your parents by their first names? I’ve seen you do that a few times in posts, so I wondered. Also, was your Dad in the room when you and your Mom did the vlog? It seemed like he was, but we never saw him! As VP of GNDGU, I demand a vlog with Jim:) Just kidding. Ok, not really.

  25. Laura, you are soooo lucky! I wish something that funny had occurred when Rod and I were taking care of Mum!

    I do have some cat stories I will share at a later date, though.

  26. Such a drama queen your father is. Geesh. Do you and your Mom not him enough attention!!!!

    People fall…and every one else points and laugh.

  27. #1 – I think it’s cool that you respond to your commenters! I don’t see a lot of other bloggers doing that…

    #2 – Not sure where I’m following you from…one of the Friday Follows…

    #3 – Falling fathers must have been catching…my own father fell last night during the night! And he’s OK too! 🙂

  28. Hi! I’m not getting updates from your recent posts anymore since you became a dot.com so I’ll have to check into that…

    And as for your dad, the fall sound horrendous, but I can’t get over him stripping down and going into the house! LOL!

  29. Hey I made it to your new place because I finally update you on my blog…yeah!!!

    My favorite line “old people fall” ….haha! Wow I totally saw an Everybody Loves Raymond moment!

  30. This made me laugh. Then I felt shocked that I was laughing at such a situation. I am so impressed with you and your mother Laura, that you can find the humor in these situations. How do you two do it? It is such a good way to live.

  31. I’m glad your dad is okay. I hate when things like that happen to dads and moms.

    I call everyone by the wrong name all the time. Recently it’s been as bad as calling my granddaughter by my son’s name. Calling my grandson by my dog’s name, or my dog by my grandson’s name. I even call some of my kids by my brother’s name. I am one confused old bat!

    I’ve had such a hard time calling names over the years, that at school I mostly call the children baby doll (yes, even the sixth graders – boys or girls), or precious. Long as I don’t call them brats, everyone’s happy!

  32. My dad took a big fall once. Off of the toilet. I’m not sure it’s something I can write about.

  33. Oh your poor father… and the thought of him standing there naked with a bleeding wound is hilarious (yet also sad)… but definitely amusing.

  34. How do you not have a very extreme reaction to your naked husband bleeding in the basement? Glad he was okay.

    And falling SUCKS. The last time I did it I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest when I tripped over a sleeping dog. I was so angry at myself and in so much pain, I must have spent 15 minutes just crying on the floor. A little knee bruising, but I was otherwise fine. I think the older you get, the scarier falling becomes, little kids just seem to fall and bounce right back. Resilient!

  35. Hope he’s okay!

  36. Aside from his arm bleeding, I think an older man walking in the house naked and telling his wife that he ‘had an accident’ is hilarious….

  37. GAH! Maybe he needs to wear a helmet. Or at least overalls.

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