The Appropriate Response is “You’re Welcome”

**Feel Good Friday is Tomorrow!!  Choose your prompt, write  a post and link up!**

I lived in this house for many years before I met Tyler.  This meant that I did most things for myself with the occasional help from my dad.

I don’t “do” any type of roof stuff.

Basically I was very independent and did all of the typical “man stuff.”  I did all yard work,  snow blowed, emptied and cleaned the garage twice a year, minor repairs, garbage, etc…

You get the idea.

My house.  My work.

Even when I was dating Tyler and he offered to do things for me, I wouldn’t let him.

“Thank you, but I can do it. This is what I do.” I would tell him.

It killed him to watch me wheel barrel 11 cubic yards of mulch around my yard.

Then we got married and I got pregnant and he assumed some of the responsibilities.

9 months of being pregnant coupled with 2 months of barely being able to walk and sleep deprivation and we got into a routine.

He took out the garbage cans and brought them in on every garbage day.  Yes, I did it, but not with the regularity that he did.

No biggie, right?

“Major biggie” I am to learn.

Because a couple weeks ago it was a nice day and I was outside and I brought the garbage cans in.  He gets home and makes a BIG deal that I walked them in.

I didn’t know it irked him that I didn’t bring them in more often.

So this week, I was outside, and I brought them in again.

We are getting ready for bed and this is what transpires:

Tyler:  Wow!  2 weeks in a row that you brought the garbage cans in!

Me:  [Icy, cold stare.]

Tyler:  You know, the appropriate response would be to say, “You’re Welcome.”

Me:  Could you repeat that again? [Walking to get a notepad to write that ONE down.]

Now I am in a pickle. 

Should I get the garbage cans every week, for the rest of my life, in sickness or in health, just to spite him?

-Or –

Should I purposely walk out to the end of the driveway, NOT get them, and laugh maniacally each time?

Your advice is greatly appreciated.


60 responses to “The Appropriate Response is “You’re Welcome”

  1. Ooh, tough call! Because it’s kinda a lose-lose for you either way. Either don’t do the work, or come off looking evil.

  2. Mix it up, keep him guessing….;o)

  3. Wow…how quickly they forget! You did ALL the work before!

  4. I’d go with the second option. And every once in a while, throw in an exaggerated oh-look-at-me-it’s-so-hard-to-bring-in-these-garbage-cans performance…just for fun!

  5. I’m not sure why you even asked. You know what the right thing to do is! Of course it’s the maniacal laughing! In fact, I think you should do the maniacal laugh every time you perform any chore 😉

  6. I like Kerri’s response: mix it up, keep him guessing!

  7. I wouldn’t get them. Not unless he kisses your feet for everything else that you do around the house.

  8. I would remind him of the things you do already, the cooking, the cleaning, the care of the children! Garbage cans are manly work or as your children get older, in my house, it’s daughters’ work.

  9. I’d remind him that “You’re welcome” is only an appropriate response if someone actually says or expresses genuine thanks and gratitude.

    And on the next trash day, I’d go to the end of the drive and kick the cans out in to the middle of the street before he got home.

  10. LOL I can’t top Lizdom! I vote for her response!

  11. yeah, what lizdom said. (cackling over here) lauren@mylifeandmyloves

  12. Beverly@Beverly's Back Porch

    You screwed up the first time you brought them in so it will take a few weeks to re-train him. Stay away from the end on the driveway unless he is in the hospital. You ask!

    • You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right!

      I almost mowed the grass today since he woke up tired, but what would happen if I did that?! OH THE HORROR!

  13. Another vote for Lizdom!

    Haven’t you seen that episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Ray confesses to his brother that the man-code is to purposely do tasks wrong so that the wife decides of her own free will that it’s just easier to do it herself? Perhaps you can do it “wrong” a few times, like leaving the lids off for the racoons, or putting them in the wrong position so they block his car “accidentally”. That way, you’ll get credit for trying, but you’ll get out of the job in the long run when he decides to do it himself!

    On a side note, do I relate all my comments to canceled sitcoms?…

    • Now, that is funny!

      Now that you mention it, I think I did see that show. We would never do stuff wrong on purpose, though. We are both too perfectionistic!

  14. I don’t personally like the assigned tasks or being “expected” to do a choir it sound kind of petty to me. He should remember that you used to do all the choirs with out him and can easily do them without him again* insert winking eye here*

    • HA! He could barely get his comment out of his mouth since he knew it sounded snotty. And then he laughed when I got out my pen. He is learning to regret saying stuff now that I have a blog… or is it that he says stuff on purpose?

  15. I bring ours in simply because I don’t like looking at the stinking things our on the street all day long. Also, with a good wind, they’d go sailing into the next county!

  16. Hahaha! I say mix it up, although I do like the idea of kicking them into the street.

  17. Lizdom’s advice wins my vote too!!!

  18. Did you take the opportunity to touch him? Maybe it would’ve thrown him off. =)

    You are in a pickle and I don’t envy your response. I’d say keep him guessing. Bring it in occasionally, when the mood strikes. Why do I have a feeling this will become something you do every time you see it sitting at the end of the driveway? LOL That’s what would happen to me. I’d see it, roll my eyes and end up dragging it back to the house!

    Good luck!

  19. I would not get them. One major reason is that they gross me out. Plus, I do everything else soI like to keep him engaged in the house stuff. Taking out the garbage is one of those ways. 🙂

  20. I would like to say to go with option B but I think I should probably say to go with option A. Then he’ll owe you 🙂

    • I did it the other day and he didn’t even notice. I am not sure what the big deal was all about. If I am there, I do it. It is not like I intentionally leave it for him!

  21. I am going to be uncharacteristically optimistic here: and go with A. But not to spite him. They are just trash cans afterall and if that is all y’all have to worry with in life you are ahead of the game.

    Having said that, last week I asked hubs to take the can to the street because it was too heavy. He forgot and we had a trash overload until the next pick up day. So I took this morning’s trash which was even heavier than last week. I would rather do it myself and KNOW it was done then to rely upon him to forget.

    • That happened to us once too!! What a nightmare!

      Thank you for stopping by my blog. Part of Tyler said it to be funny and part was serious. He loves to tease especially when he knows I am going to write about it!

  22. I vote for maniacal laughter, actually. After all he did poke you in that picture the other day.

  23. I say… promise him, when he gets pregnant, you will resume the duties he took off your hands, when you were. After all, turn about is fair play.

  24. I’m totally with the laughing maniacally bit!

    I keep telling Pato that taking out the garbage is his job and he keeps telling me that he doesn’t have time on the way out the door because he’s always late. Somehow I don’t think him getting up late is my fault – though he’ll dispute that. LOL

  25. I choose the second option randomly though so that he doesn’t get to content with the routine! Oh and my hubby would also be doing his own laundry after a comment like that! 😉

  26. If you’re able to, bring them in. If you’re not, don’t. I have tried time and time again to tell The Husband that I am just too pretty to do the garbage, but ever since he started traveling for work some, he forgets. That’s what hotel living will do to you!

  27. Just bring one in, then you’ve done your “half” *snicker*.

  28. Okay, you are in a jam, and it’s similar to one I’ve been in. Instead of playing the game, I would just come right out and ask him if he wants to share some of the chores (although I personally like the maniacal laughter choice myself…)

  29. Well, GC is awful about helping with the trash. Its all I really ask of him yet he can’t seem to follow through, so I just kinda take it out and put it anywhere that the animals can’t get to it (hopefully). Then he gets mad because it’s not put away properly or whatever. I get to gleefully tell him if he doesn’t like it, to do it himself. Haha.

    I like Angelia’s suggestion to just bring in half. Then when he comments you can look him square in the eye and say “Teamwork, babe. Teamwork!”

  30. Haha. I personally would ignore the garbage cans till death do us part…but I’m passive aggressive that way. Since my husband works 24 hour shifts though, sometimes I have no choice but to embark on garbage duties. I’ll walk it to the curb, but I always, always leave them out for him to bring back in. I also don’t do lawn maintenance or dog grooming, but then again he doesn’t do floors or bathe children, so I suppose it’s an even trade. 😉

  31. Oh man! I hate being put in that situation…should I be kind to the old fart or should I “show him!” Maybe just bring them half way up the drive and your point will be made. Just a thought.

  32. Hmm…I definitely don’t think you should just get them, and bring them in. Are there 2? Maybe bring 1 in? Maybe get them from the end of the driveway, and hide them both. Or, possibly move them halfway up the driveway and leave them right in the middle, so he has to drive around them. Wait, I’ve got it. Instead, start bringing your parents garbage cans up for them!

  33. Do what I do….when I feel like bringing them in I bring them in…when I don’t feel like it or if I forget then I don’t. If it bothers him that much that they aren’t inside, he can go and bring them in himself, he’s got two hands.

  34. I like the maniacal version.

  35. I hate it when I have it in mind to do some chore and then my husband mentions that it needs doing. Hint hint.
    I get so angry. Now if I do it, I feel like I am being bossed around. If I don’t do it I feel badly because it needs doing and I want it done. Your case reminds me of that.
    Part of my anger is that I am challenged to stay steady and hold with my own integrity.
    I think do it when you can. Maniacally laughing or I love the saying you are too pretty to be doing this are great.
    I love the poking him part. I wonder where he was coming from to have said it in the first place. Is he feeling overwhelmed with tasks or unappreciated or something ? I think the poke might lead to more communicating.

    • Honestly, neither of us ever tells each other what to do. It is a real give and take. However, since I had Sarah his load became greater whereas I used to do a lot of the man stuff, but now that she is older and not going to drop dead if I take my eyes off of her, I am picking up some of the other stuff as well. I think with the garbage cans, he was just being a smart ass. He gets really run down in the summer with work and golf and trying to fit in everything he wants to do. His choice, but he does get really tired.

      We had a laugh over it the minute it was out of his mouth and he knew it was going on the blog! Just wait til the lawn mowing post comes out!!

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